Since no name's a grey, he follows the rules of basics gender identification in cockatiels. If he is a pearl that lost them, that's also an indication that he's male.
My own tiel, Lucy, used to run around on the bottom to avoid coming out as well. She was one of Carolyn's babies (she breeds for the local bird club here), so she's already tame, but Lucy is a shy girl and takes her a while to warm up to people. Was he parent/aviary raised? Aviary raising is basically the same as parent raising, though I think since it would be in an outdoor aviary, he would be even less acquainted to people, since he would see him less.
Don't believe the person who told you he won't be able to be handled. It seems he's already making progress. I can share some experience if you want.
I can't guarentee he'll become a total cuddle-bug, but I've seen cockatiels that have been isolated from human contact, become the most affectionate birds out there, so it's definitely possible.
I believe the eyes were red because of the camera flash, Carolyn. Lucy's eyes get red in flash as well, which could've made her look like a recessive slilver, if I didn't have the color set to "super vivid", and made her look more brown than anything.
I was wondering if he could also be fallow, but from the pictures I've seen, I really doubt it, since his coloring is a bit too dark for it, so I think I would go with cinnamon, for Lucky. Rosey looks like a regular Lutino, but she could be a cinnamon Lutino.