We've had Ruki the Cockatiel for about 3 months now. When we brought him home, he wasn't tame at all and would freak any time we got near him. Since then, I've been working with him and he'll eat millet from my hand. He'll also get on my finger to eat, but won't get on my finger unless I have millet. He's been out of his cage a few times, but getting him back in stresses him out and causes him to bite. I'm not sure what to do next. Should I let him out to the top of his cage and work with him getting on my hand from there? I just don't know what to do to get him to get on my finger/hand without the millet so I'm afraid to let him out for fear of the stresses of trying to get him back in... Any suggestions would be appreciated!

Is he willing to step up on a perch that you're holding in your hand? Many birds who are hand-shy consider a stick to be less threatening and are much more willing to step up on that.

He will step onto my hand if I keep it flat. We've been working from his door which lays out straight. I have taught him to come and touch a hair stick (like a chopstick) and then he gets a treat when I click a ballbpoint pen. He'll get on my hand like that no problem from the door. He steps off after a short time, but always comes back.

He was out on top of his cage all day today. We worked on the same routine, I have the stick attached to my wrist so he has to get onto my hand in order to touch it for his treat. At first, he was hesitant to get on my hand from the roof of his cage, but after a time he did it like he would from his door. He was singing and talking and seemed happy all day. Then this evening, he flew off onto the floor and wouldn't come near me. I ended up having to put out the lights and sort of putting my hand in the direction he was walking. He bit me once and then let me put him back onto the cage. Right now, he's snoozing on the roof of his cage. He knows how to go back inside, he did it earlier to eat and then came back out.

I feel like such a failure... What am I doing wrong?

It sounds to me like you're doing a lot of things right! It was very clever to use targeting to teach him to step up on your hand - I wouldn't have thought of that. Birds are prey animals in the wild, which makes them very nervous about things that they aren't used to. It takes time for a bird to learn to trust you, and it also takes time for them to feel confident about being out of the cage. They spend most of their time in the cage so it comes to feel like their 'safe zone', and if they haven't learned yet how much fun it can be to play away from the cage they will be reluctant to leave it.

You're making progress. Getting him to step up on your hand from the cage top was a big step. Getting him to go back to the cage wasn't as easy as you'd like, but you did get him to go back without a big chase. Besides rewarding him for stepping onto your hand, you can also reward him for stepping off your hand onto the top of the cage or into the cage when you request it - he'll learn that your hand can be the vehicle for getting back home. To encourage him to stay on your hand longer, you can wait a few seconds before you deliver the reward, and gradually extend the time. At first you can do all these things while standing still, then work on getting him to stay on the hand while you move a little bit. Eventually you can teach him to stay on the hand while you walk across the room.

Thank you so much for the encouragement. You don't know how low I was feeling earlier about all this. We got...err....rescued Ruki from Petco, so I knew he would be a challenge. I guess the key here is like always, patience, patience patience.

I saw a video of a bird trainer who was using a chopstick to work with a parrot. I didn't have one, so I used one of my hair sticks. They were using two people to coax the bird onto a hand, one holding the stick above the other person's hand. I'm doing this by myself, so I had to improvise.

I will put your suggestions to use starting tomorrow. Thank you again, I just have one more question. Ruki is now sound asleep on the top of his cage. The door is still open. Should I just leave him up there? I'd hate to wake him up...

When it's bedtime or if you're going to go out it's always best to put the bird back in the cage. If the bird has a night fright it will be safer flapping around inside the cage than flapping wildly around the room in the dark. Birds are light sleepers so it's easy to wake them up; just speaking gently ought to do it. Ruki might even be more willing to step up for you while he's still sleepy and not fully energized yet.

Which reminds me... many birds are calmer and more cooperative in the evening, so it might be helpful to work with him then.

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll give it a try and let you know how it goes!

I've been working with Ruki regularly, but don't seem to be getting any further along with getting him unafraid of my hand/finger. I don't know what happened to him before we brought him home, but he sure doesn't like hands/fingers one bit. Do I just need to be patient and keep working with him? He seems happy, he sings and chatters and will come up to me from in his cage. When he's out on his door, he'll come up to me for treats and acts friendly. But if he flies off onto the floor or somewhere else, he won't come near me to get on my hand/finger. I am at a loss as to what to do to earn his trust. Am I just being too impatient? Thanks in advance for any tips/advice!

Patience is the key. Many birds are slow to trust, which is normal behavior for a small prey animal.