Last night I made a Horrible mistake with my new boy, as the title says
The first night he spent here he was very tired and it was easy to put him to bed: he went to his cage on his own when I tried to make him hop on the stick. The cage was in my bedroom so he and Bubu were the only birds around.

Yesterday I moved the cage in the bird room and he forgot all about being (supposedly) cage bound. He stayed out all day with the flock and when bedtime came he didn't want to go to sleep in the cage.
Almost all the birds go either on their own, or on the stick, or let me catch them. Sesamo is the exception and I have to catch/towel her in the dark... she is a fierce biter lol

After they were all in bed, I tried to lure new boy to his cage, but he didn't want to know. So I towelled him. He was absolutely furious and even later, in his own cage, he was hissing and acting generally as very upset.
So I let him out again and he settled on top of Darcy's cage, immediately calm again. I let him stay out for the night, after all this is a bird proof room so there is not much damage he can do to himself.

As a result of the towelling he now dislikes me A LOT and that little bit of trust he showed the first day has gone. I can't believe I made such a stupid mistake.
Today I was able to give him treats, and he comes near me when he sees the millet spray in my hand, but I know from his body language that he wishes me a million miles away from him.

Now everyone is in bed, apart from him and Sesamo who are peacefully perching in their favourite spots, one on top of Darcy's cage and the other on top of the bookshelf which is a very safe spot in a corner.
I am not really very happy to let them out for the night. They might disturb the sleeping birds flying around, and they can get in trouble maybe falling behind one of the cage stands or similar dangers.

What should I do? Towel him or let him sleep where he likes? I don't know what to do at this point. I never had such a negative reaction before, and I don't want to alienate him even more.
I let Sesamo out as well because she hates the towelling too, so I want to treat them equally.
I really need a plan for these two, please if you have tactics, ideas etc. let me know. I thought of keeping them in the cage and train them to hop on the stick as I did with Angelina, that took me about 3 days but she is probably a quick learner and she was a baby when I did that. Sesamo is quite young but the most stubborn bird you can imagine, and new boy is almost 5yo.

I don't advise letting birds stay out of the cage at night, if they have a night fright they'll be safer in the cage.

Keep on offering the treats and food bribery. Maybe hang a piece of millet spray in the cage half an hour before bedtime to see if he'll go in on his own.

If that doesn't work, don't towel him and instead work on getting him to step up on either a stick or your hand. He's going to resist and you'll basically have to keep bugging him until he's tired of running/flying away from you. Since he's not physically fit it won't take very long. It won't be pleasant for either one of you, but he'll learn what's expected of him. He'll build up his fitness level and maybe he'll learn to fly better while he's trying to get away from you, so it's not all bad. Move gently and slowly while you're pursuing him, so he might not be happy with you but he won't be scared. He'll eventually figure out that you'll stop bothering him as soon as he does what you want.

Sorry I have to disagree with Tielfan...
I would towel him if you can't catch him other ways... after a couple of times he will get use to it...
Maybe once you have him in the towel, cuddle and spoil him a bit!
I'd put him in the cage for bedtime...
how ever bird proof a room is.... they can find trouble! LOL... do you cover him with a fleece etc.?
I find all mine once I've covered, they seem to realize it's bed time....
I don't know how old you are Barbara, but I'm quite old, and its no joke as you get older being bitten by a bird, takes a long time to heal.
I wouldn't worry pussy foot around him, do it the way you can, and what is easiest for you.
I believe my birds fit around me and not me around them (well! not always) LOL
Good luck with the bird.
Oh do tell us what's his name?

You can choose the approach that seems best to you, but personally I think that going for the step-up is less forceful and aversive than the towel. He will get used to being towelled but it won't teach him to step up, and there isn't a voluntary component to it for him. With the step up you will be pushing him into it against his will at first, but it will still be his decision to stop running and lift up his foot to put it on the stick or finger.

If you go for the step up, try to gently herd him into a corner before you request it. Birds tend to cooperate more if there isn't an easy escape route.

Thank you both very much for your suggestions. I had no idea that night frights could be more dangerous outside the cage! I always thought that being in a larger space would make them less prone to injuries.

Jan, I am a very unfit 53 old lady, so I think we are in a similar situation! My birds do what they like all the time, basically going to bed without being jerks is the only thing I ask them
That's why I have been towelling Sesamo at night. She doesn't fear me, doesn't like to be touched but still will sit next to me sometimes, so I never felt too bad at catching her that way at night. She is a VERY strong flier and there's no way I can wear her down.

But this new boy, well he is a bit special. He spent most of his life caged and on his own; seeing how well he reacted to the flock makes me think that we can work on his fears.
I fervently hope that he gets it soon because tonight he had me running after him for a good ten minutes before landing (by mistake) on his cage door and getting inside... sure it's good exercise for me too but I am exhausted
He is a very bad flier but he's so agile on his legs you wouldn't believe it!!! So much so that I think he deserves a name like Ronaldo, Pele or Rooney... A real ace at hopping and avoiding the stick
I give it a week, then if he really doesn't want to cooperate it's either the towel or I will need to try somet else.

You could call him Strutter lol. Or Strider, that has a "Lord of the Rings" connection in addition to the plain meaning.

LUV the Lord of the Rings! what a lovely name for him!
Add another 13 years on yours Barbara.... and you have mine... as you can guess I don't like chasing mine much... the only one who doesn't want to go into the cage at night is Bryni the budgie. He doesn't like to be handled... guess he may have been an aviary bird before he came to me... towel him I did, and trim his wings I couldn't catch him 1st off, now he is flighted again I hold my hand up and say.... Home Bryni and he flies to his cage... seems a very bright boy!
no sense thro', he crashes into everything...

That's great, Jan, I wish my guys were so clever!
I suspect it's partly my fault, I need to make it very easy and obvious for them how to get in the cages, with coloured platforms, targets etc.
I think he will end up with a name like Hopper. Or maybe Puffy Pants, he really has marvellous legs

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VICTORY!!!
The new boy is more clever than a rocket scientist!!!! Alleluja

Tonight I dimmed the light 1 hour prior to putting them to bed (I always do it so that they wind down a bit and are more agreeable to the cage idea), and when I went back he was inside his own cage


I hope it's not a fluke lol

Good News time will tell.