I have to say, I feel my relationship with Emma has been a failure. She has been with me for a year and two months, and she is no more tame than when I first got her.

She is extremely shy and wary of humans. She wants what she wants and to be where she wants to be. It's very hard to coax her into cooperating. On those occasions when I just really need to get her into the cage, and she really, really doesn't want to, I end up chasing her around, and that makes her more shy and fearful. This may only happen once every few months, but it affects her forever. He wings are clipped, but she will run away on the floor and get under things, kind of like a cat that doesn't want to be caught.

I try to be kind and patient with her. But, sometimes she drives me crazy, and it's hard for me not to push a little bit, and pushing makes things worse, because she can hold a grudge for a very long time.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be better for her if I rehomed her. Perhaps she needs to breed or be in a large aviary. I don't mind taking care of her. I do feel she is my responsibility and I should give her as good a life as I can. I do not find my relationship with her particularly rewarding, but I wouldn't rehome her just because she doesn't meet my expectations.

Any thoughts or suggestions welcome.

What do you think you need to do Dianne?

What I do with Mango is just talk to him and let him out of the cage and he will go in at night and if he isn't in his cage he will fly in if I try to touch him sometimes we do have to push them a little.Maybe see what she is like if you let her wings grow out,I regret clipping Mango and I think he would be different if he was fully flighted.

You should do what your heart tells you. You can always dial it back a little and do things like sit with her, next to her cage and read to her, or maybe doing the hand thing- just laying your hand next to her and letting her get used to being near. Simple things, but getting back to basics may be a do over for you both. It can take time, but it may be worth it. She might just need to trust you a little more. Just some thoughts...And it isn't a failure, remember also that millet is a great reward.

Where in your home is she kept?
Have you tried wrapping her in a soft towel sitting
with her and singing/chatting..in a very soft voice, at the same time gently stroking her head/ neck? She may not like being wrapped at first but will get use to it... battle of wills... you win not her!
Many years ago I had a bird which didn't want to do anything but what he wanted... didn't like people much...
was a little biter... I did this every night for around 30 minutes for at least a month...
In the end I had one of the most lovely friendly birds I've ever kept.... it just took time....patience... and love...
It will work if you have the time etc... maybe try it...

Does she generally seem to be happy interacting with the other birds in your house? If she has a good life in general that might be a reason to keep her, even though she doesn't want to be friends with you. But if she doesn't really have a social life at all, it might be better to rehome her and hope that she finds her niche.

I'm not a fan of toweling, because you're forcing the bird to submit to your will. This leads to something called learned helplessness, where the bird does what you want because resistance is futile and compliance prevents trouble. Some birds/animals/humans will even become eager to please but this isn't true affection - it's called the Stockholm Syndrome.

I did use something similar to toweling (it was basically toweling without the towel). I held Lucy to my chest and scritched her. While she did begin to like it, she's too much of a stubborn butt to develop Stockholm Syndrome. Still, I prefer letting my birds know they have a choice. Although, when you have a bird like Lucy who's cocky about it, trying to do something like get in the cage can be hectic.

What I would do is take her to a separate room and just spend some one on one time. You won't have to touch her or anything. Just let her do her thing, and just hang out in the room with her. Bring a book or something, if you are to get bored. She may eventually try to warm up to you, or get curious about what you're doing. You could have some millet there too, and some toys for her to occupy herself, so she'lol be comfortable.

Thank you all for the suggestions. I think I should keep her, because I think Silver enjoys having her and they have a sort of a bond.

Twelve days later, and I have seen no change in Emma. She cannot fly away from me, but she doesn't mind dropping to the floor and then running away from me. She is kind of like a cat, in that she goes under things, where it's harder for me to reach her.

Some bird owners say that if you clip a bird it may be less confident and harder to train. I think perhaps this has been true for Emma, in terms of the last clip. Before the clip she would consistently jump onto my forearm for a sunflower seed, then off again. Now, she won't do that at all. She will take a seed from between my fingers, though. So, after the clip, I lost a whole step that I had previously accomplished with her.

It really is a dilemma, though, as it can be just about impossible to get her into the cage when she is fully fighted.

I think what I should do is start on a disciplined program of clicker training. However, I don't seem to be able to do it. I am just not disciplined enough.

She does seem happy enough otherwise, though. She is getting fonder of Silver. I think she still feels he is a bit beneath her, after the gorgeous Piper that she used to mate with.

Clipping birds has actually given me success in taming.