Thank you guys!

I assume that you still want to get one of Susanne's hens. Are you thinking about rescheduling yet?

I do, but I don't. I'm too nervous to see her. And I'm too afraid to ask my mom to take me there.

I bet you'll find the nerve to do it before too long. There's a cockatiel waiting for you to bring her home after all.

Not really. I told Sussane that I can't take her. She already knows about my depression. She didn't respond to my e-mail. Besides, I would rather have the extra space for the future babies that will hopefully come.

I feel so bad. I feel like I let the bird down. It's not your fault, don't worry. I just feel guilty again. Ahh. I hate this feeling so much. Now I feel like I MUST get her.

Remember Mooney's bird Dolce? I felt obligated to adopt her too. I felt really bad when I wasn't able to.

Either way, in the end, I am kind of glad I didn't take her, because unfortunately she died a few months later. Just remember, everything happens for a reason. If you don't take the pearl hen, you may get some babies!

This made me feel a bit better. I think the only way for me to get rid of guilt is to talk it out. I won't don't it here lol. I'll save you guys from reading a story.

Baruch, there is very little I don't know about depression and personality disorders,and the chaos they bring into your soul. There is a point, sometimes, when you need to act.
They are a bitch and if you let them rule you completely they will enslave you.
It's not by chance that as soon as something new and exciting happens in your life, the old monster raises its head and keeps you home.
Now you are trying to find good reasons for not to go.
There aren't any.
Please find the courage and go! You won't regret it.
Just in case take with you a big pill of valium and go for it!

Thank you Barbara. I will definitely go when I'm having another bird craving. I just recently got 2 more birds and I'm not ready to add more. Im still getting used to the extra mess and stuff.