tielfan wrote:
I've only had to have an animal put to sleep once (a budgie, 16 years ago) and in my experience the loss is hardest when you have to make the decision instead of having it just happen naturally. It's the right thing to do and the only decent choice you could have made, but it's so terribly hard to make that choice and carry through with it. It makes the loss more traumatic when you have to play an active role in bringing it about. It's going to take time to get over this, but you were brave enough to do what was best for him.
Yeah, it's weird because I am immensely grateful to have been able to do this for him with no muss or fuss. It was quick and painless for him. I am so thankful for that. But yeah, I definitely have guilt, major guilt. Like could he have lasted a little longer? Yeah, I guess but to what end? To get more and more uncomfortable as he got skinnier and skinnier and the tumor got larger and larger and more and more uncomfortable? Intellectually, I get this and I'm fine with my decision but emotionally I feel super guilty. Like I let him down somehow... which is total nonsense!
It must be a right brain battling the left brain type thing.