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 Post subject: Re: Worst day ever!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 4:47 pm 
Lovebird
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When George died I had one of those moments and broke everything in view... I can tell you, after 2 minutes of adrenaline rush I felt worse.
But crying, crying crying whenever I felt like I was about to explode, that actually helped. You cry for days, a strange calm and sad acceptance settles in. But everyone is different, what works for one can be bad for someone else.
For Yoghi I had time to prepare myself, so that doesn't count because you had the shock of your life today.
My best friend lost her dad in a car crash when we were both 18 years old. Her reaction was to go out with friends every single day and night, divert her mind from the horrific fact. She would talk about it, we spent night talking about her dad, but she needed to find something to occupy her mind and exhaust her body or she'd go crazy, so she went dancing etc.
When you love someone and you lost them it's just unbearable, Baruch, but what alternative we have? Stop loving? Can't do that, we have too much to give and get.
Busy your body and mind, try not to dwell on the horror. I know, easy to say... But even just trying will help you.

:hug:



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 Post subject: Re: Worst day ever!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 4:50 pm 
Conure
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Thank you, the birds that flew away are not clipped. I think the attack was from a raccoon, we have a lot of them here. My grandmother heard noises coming from her roof so she bought a raccoon trap and the day later they found a huge raccoon inside the trap!


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 Post subject: Re: Worst day ever!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 4:52 pm 
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A couple of the birds that I've lost were due to accidents, and that makes it harder because of the regrets about "if only I had done things differently". But everything we do seemed like the best idea at the time, and if we had thought it was likely to lead to disaster we wouldn't have done it that way. So try to forgive yourself and/or anyone else who might have played a role in it. No one wanted this to happen.



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 Post subject: Re: Worst day ever!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 4:53 pm 
Conure
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Name: Baruch
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Thank you Barbra! Your really helping me through this!
I'm going to get some rest for school tomorrow.


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 Post subject: Re: Worst day ever!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 4:56 pm 
Conure
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Name: Baruch
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Thank you Carolyn! Your really helping me through this


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 Post subject: Re: Worst day ever!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:10 pm 
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I'm glad if we're able to help you feel a little bit better. The pain of loss is the price we pay for love, and most pets don't live as long as humans do so we know we're signing up for this pain when we get a pet. But we get the pet anyway because the love is worth it.

It's hard when we don't get to enjoy the love for as long as we expected, but at least we got to have it for a while. Do what you can to celebrate the joy that your birds gave you while you had them, and also the joy that you gave them while they were here. That counts for a lot more than the tragic end to the story. So many unlucky birds spend a long life being neglected or abused. Your birds' lives were shorter but they had a wonderful time while it lasted.



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 Post subject: Re: Worst day ever!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:01 pm 
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I agree. Tonight, instead of thinking of the grim ending in this part of the story, go back and read the details. That is always the best part of the book. Remember the best times you had with them. And about the loser who said what she said on TalkCockatiels, forget her. Yes, this chapter didn't end the best, and she certainly did not need to dwell on that, but this is where you start writing the next chapter. And like any good author, make each chapter better than the next. You just hit the climax of your story, now go make that happy ending! :highfive:



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 Post subject: Re: Worst day ever!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:30 pm 
Conure
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Thank you both so much

My father came from work and I told him the story, he got so mad that he is willing to pay £800 to get a trap and capture the raccoon

And my mom is also joining in! I forgot to mention that when my mom saw my sad she said she regret getting the birds and she said that she wanted to get rid if them which made me feel so much worse but when she heard the will power from my father it like transferred to her
So were on the same page!


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 Post subject: Re: Worst day ever!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:52 pm 
Lovebird
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Haimovfids wrote:
I forgot to mention that when my mom saw my sad she said she regret getting the birds and she said that she wanted to get rid if them which made me feel so much worse but when she heard the will power from my father it like transferred to her
So were on the same page!


I find your mama a very interesting woman. She reminds me a lot about my father, the way he handled situations of distress with us kids (I have 3 siblings).
Once he took home a kitten, and we all wanted to play with him and had fights, tears, arguments etc as you can imagine... we never had a kitten before! After a few days he took the kitten away to avoid all the drama and the fights.
He had all the best intentions of course, he thought that once the kitten was gone we would be happy again. We weren't lol
I am really glad that your dad has the strength to make her change her mind! He seems to me a very fair man.



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 Post subject: Re: Worst day ever!!
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 10:02 pm 
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I think your mother wants to do what's best for you but she isn't on your wavelength enough to understand what 'best' means to you. You were already having a difficult year but your birds were a source of unconditional love and relaxation. All you had to do to keep them happy was feed them and give them scritchies. This terrible accident is obviously putting a lot of stress on you, but getting rid of the remaining birds wouldn't fix that. It would just give you 10 birds to grieve for instead of four. I'm glad that your dad was able to turn things around.

Changing subjects, I want to mention that while I was a moderator on that other forum I only censored one post, and that was when somebody made insensitive remarks to someone who had suffered a loss. If the person who made insensitive comments today had posted her remarks on this forum I would have deleted it and told her she needs to be a little more compassionate. I'm pretty tolerant and I don't blink an eye at minor cuss words, but I don't allow that sort of thing.



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