I can't handle it anymore! I have so many subjects with work flying from all corners and I don't have time to do them!

I don't want to live anymore!! I hurt myself now and I think of killing myself! I can't take it anymore

You need help.. get your self to
a doctor ASAP, and start telling him how you feel.
We on here cant help you, as we're not near you.
Go and chat to an adult please, NOW!

OMG. Yes, you need emergency help from an adult. Call your psychologist if you can or a doctor/hospital or a hotline or school counselor/teacher or family member. This is a combination of school stress and bird stress and just plain being a teenager which is one of life's rougher periods. You can get through this but you need help to do it. We can help you with part of it but we're not qualified to deal with it when it gets this bad.

Baruch, are you all right?

You need to report this situation to someone and you need to do it today, before anything else can happen. If you can tell your psychologist or a friendly adult at the school, you won't have to tell your parents about it yourself. The other adult will take care of the notification and can help you through the initial stages after your parents find out.

I'm writing a series of short posts so that if you're going on and off the forum at short intervals you'll see something at least and know that I'm here and paying attention. I had to go out for a few hours, but I'm back now and I can see that you've made some posts in the interim.

I told him yesterday and he made a deal that I wouldn't hurt myself and that if anything is not going well I would email him. But this morning was really hard!

Then email him, because the deal has been broken and the situation is officially out of control. He's the best person to talk to really because he knows your situation well. The school pressure is the biggest problem and that's what he'll need to talk about most, but maybe he can mention that your birds are a beneficial hobby not an addiction. They give you relaxation and pleasure, and if you're spending all your free time with them it's because you have so little free time that there's no time to do anything else.

If your psychologist isn't available then the school nurse might be a good person to turn to, or a teacher that you like. You can tell them that you need help, then tell them what you did, and say you know that your parents need to know about this but you're afraid to tell them. Then let the adults take care of the rest.

Your parents will be upset, but not nearly as upset as they would be if something bad happened to you. If they're wise they'll make sure that you never spend another day at that school. It's not an environment where you can succeed or thrive, and it's destroying your life.

My sister tried to kill herself with pills in 2011 and she almost succeeded. We were just blindsided because we had no idea that anything was that wrong with her life; she hadn’t told anyone, and in a phone call with me just a few days before she seemed completely normal. For several days we didn't know whether she was going to live, and if she did live we didn't know how brain-damaged she would be. Death is not the worst thing that can happen in situations like this. She was lucky and recovered back to the point of being pretty normal, but her emotional recovery has been a rough road and she still scares us sometimes. But she knows now that we’re there to help her get through the hard times, and she feels very guilty about the ordeal that we went through because of the suicide attempt.

It will be easier for both you and your family if you deal with the situation now instead of waiting until you’ve been pushed completely over the edge and something terrible has happened. It won't be easy reporting this, but delaying it will probably make things worse not better. There are four months left in the school year and I don't think you can manage the situation that long.

If it's not practical to change schools in the middle of the year then maybe you can finish out the school year with tutoring or home schooling or something. You have to do some kind of schooling, that's the law. Your current school sounds very expensive and your house has a very nice courtyard that you don't see on low-cost housing, so I'm assuming that your family has money and can afford any solution to the school problem that looks like it will work well for you.