Honestly, it could be that you and Lucy are not compatible, and if you don't feel it, it's okay. I've done that before. My old budgie Mackenzie. She just didn't work for me and my flock.

I agree. It's not uncommon for some people to not be compatible with some pets. Just like us humans, birds have different personalities and the bird and owners personality sometimes just doesn't click. I would recommend switching her for a male. It's ok. This bird can find another home that will take care of her. You don't have to worry about that. Please don't blame yourself. This can be a hard decision to make so try not to get stressed out from it. Just take your time and your thoughts will sort this out. You just need some time to think this through. It would also be helpful if you can get a bit of support. You can try to tell your mom what your feeling. It does help when you have someone to discuss this with.

I went through the same thing when I rehomed my cockatiels. It wasn't easy but it was definitely worth it. Good luck and sorry for that massive post. :blush:

All I can add is that Carolyn came to my house with 4 chicks and we were thinking I'd pick one of the greys, since they had previously been the most friendly, but I ended up picking Coyote since he seemed to pick me. If you do get another chick from her, I'd definitely recommend this route. It was nice to see the chicks in a situation that wasn't super busy with other animals and people. I feel like I got to see their personalities more this way.

FWIW, Coyote was hand tame from the get go with me and was fairly settled in after a few days so it is possible to have that level of tame from a co-parented bird. So whether you add another chick or return her for another chick, Carolyn is the way to go, IMO.

Lucy is trying to adjust to a new home with a predator staring at her, and that's a lot of stress for a baby cockatiel to deal with. So it must be hard for her to relax and have fun with her new mom. A bird that grew up around dogs could probably make the adjustment more easily but my babies aren't used to anything but other cockatiels and a princess parrot. I know that at least two of my babies have successfully adjusted to a home with a cat, and maybe a lot of it was just personality differences in the birds. But it also helped that these were cats that weren't very interested in the birds.

Well, I did talk to mom about it. Today we tried something different. My mom took her from the cage, and considering that she panicked and struggled more when my mom got her, rather than me getting her, it was a sign that she's beginning to trust me. We went into my bedroom, where we just let her walk around for a bit. Eventually, my mom decided to try and get her to step up, and she flew to my bed. She got Lucy to step up again, and got her to step up onto my hand.

I practiced step up repeatedly, and she started getting used to it. Then my mom said that we should try to pet her at this point. Didn't go over well with my mom. Tried to bite her multiple times. But I did manage to get a couple scritches in. What was different from the previous times I've pet her, was that I wasn't holding her to my chest. She was sitting on my hand. The longest amount she accepted the scritches for was 2 seconds. Short, but it's a start.

Though it seemed she kept stepping up, because she really wanted to get to my hair. My mom set her on her own shoulder, and while she was curious about her hair, she wasn't very interested in it (it's not as long and thick as mine). Near the end, my mom told me to try and give her a kiss. Lucy didn't object to it. After a few times, she gave me a couple of nose-nibbles, which are like cockatiel kisses.

Her personality isn't quite like any cockatiel I've had before, but aside from her just not wanting attention as much, I like her personality. She's goofy and playful, and not too afraid to speak her mind, since she chirps a lot. She just seems to have trouble trusting me, but I'm starting to have hope that this could potentially work, again.



I was thinking about what drove me to choose her out of the bunch I saw at Carolyn's table, and out of the whole bunch that were at the table next to her, that were actually hand fed (and trust me, there were a LOT of tiels on that table, compared to Carolyn). I will admit, my reasoning was probably against all logic. I still wasn't over the death of the baby dove I was raising, and I was trying to find something similar, that my mom could agree with. So I first decided I wanted a diamond dove. However, someone went ahead and bought all the ones being sold before I got there, I decided I might get a parrot species I've never had before. I fell in love with a few, but their price range were way over the amount of money I brought with me (note to self: bring more than $100 if I want to get a parrot from a bird show). Finally, I got to looking at the cockatiels. There were two tables selling them. One was a girl next to Carolyn, who had a lot of hand fed babies, and the other was Carolyn's table. I was also looking at the ringneck doves that were at the table next to her. I think the guy really wanted to sell them, because he was really trying to convince me.

I saw the prices at Carolyn's table, and they were really reasonable. Greys and Cinnomons at $30, Lutinos and Pieds at $40, if I remember correctly. I went and told my mom about it, and she went and saw them for herself. I will say this: It wasn't just the price that drove me to buy Lucy. If it was, I would've bought any of them. Lucy was the only Cinnamon colored bird, among 3 greys and 2 pieds(?). I don't know why her color stood out to me so much. The markings were basic. No fancy pearls or whatever. Now upon thinking about it, that baby white-winged dove has been on my mind all through that month up until the date of the bird show. Lucy's coloring does have some resemblance to that of a white-winged dove.


I should tell you guys though... I do have anxiety issues. I frustrate easily, and when things don't work out the way I want them to, I get discouraged very easily. It does give me a hard time with patience, which is why you see these "I'm at a loss" posts a little often, recently. I'm trying my best to keep these little mishaps from getting to me, though it's not easy... I do have medication for my anxiety, but I'm still having trouble getting into the habit of taking it daily. Starting tomorrow, I'll try to make more of an effort taking them, since they really do work for me.

I really want to try and make this work with Lucy. Call me supersticious, but I do feel somewhat of a connection with her, though it's kinda hard to communicate with her when she's so afraid to be out of the cage right now. I'll be trying to continue our sessions in my room, without the dogs there, and see if anything improves.

In some ways, she has helped me. I stopped thinking of the baby dove, every time I looked outside (We get white-winged doves more than any other species in the yard), and while it may not seem like it, my patience is improving, when having her around.

Not only that, but while she isn't one of the more cuddly kind, she's better about it than my previous cockatiel, Pecky was. Pecky would only accept scritches if I held him to my chest. Even then, I would slowly lift my hand from his body, and he would still accept them for a few seconds, until he went back to full-on finger killing mode. Then I would put my hand back on him, and he would enjoy it some more.

With that said, here's a picture from yesterday. Lucy wanted to do my hair again. Her nails have been getting really long though, so I'll have my mom clip them tomorrow. This was taken by my ipad, so the quality does stink.

Working with her in your room is a great idea, especially if you can arrange it so she NEVER sees a dog in that room. In the wild a lot of predators are stealthy, and will lurk in a hidden place waiting for lunch to come within pouncing range. When a bird is in an area that it knows is frequented by predators, it will be wary even when it doesn't see a predator. But if you can establish this as a dog-free zone in her mind, she's more likely to be relaxed there. It might even help with Dudley too if you can move him easily, since it's possible that dogs are part of the reason he doesn't want to come out of the cage. There's probably more to it than that with him since he's been in there so long, but it can't hurt to make the general environment look safer.

I find that a lot of baby cockatiels take time to learn to appreciate scritchies. Mutual preening is mostly done by mated pairs so there might be a hormonal component to it, and she's just a baby.

The chicks LOVE to be on top of my head, much more than the adult birds do (although they like it too). They don't seem to be particularly interested in my hair although they do mess it up, but they like being (a) on me and (b) in a high place. They'll get on my shoulder as a second choice if the head is already occupied, and sometimes I end up with chicks hanging off my butt or the front of my t-shirt. You can encourage her to sit on your shoulder by feeding her treats when she's there (but be prepared to brush off a lot of crumbs lol).

Once you've established that the shoulder is a great place to hang out, you can work on getting her to accept some scritchies while she's there. A technique that often works for me is to use one hand to occupy the bird with millet spray or sunflower seeds, and sneak in some scritchies with the other hand. This often causes annoyance at first but they get used to it. You know you've won when the bird stops eating so it can focus on the pleasure of the scritches.

Would playing cockatiel sounds while in my room help her get settled in? I was thinking, since she grew up around a whole bunch of them, that it would sound more like home to her, and would help her settle in.

But on the other hand, it could possibly also confuse her, when she hears them, but can't see them, and possibly make her uncomfortable. She does get excited when she hears recordings of cockatiel sounds. I've played them while having her on my shoulder, and she screamed in my ear.

Dudley has no problem getting out of the cage, but once he's actually out, that's when he becomes afraid of everything. Too afraid to accept treats, or do anything. He'll just quietly stand on the floor, next to the nearest person. Wouldn't step up, so getting him back in the cage is more of the challenge than getting him out. We've usually had the routine of putting dogs away when we take a bird out, though my current dog has some separation anxiety issues, and he will bark, howl, whine, do whatever he can, if he's in a room all by himself. Having me alone with Lucy in a room makes things much easier, because even while my dog prefers to be by my side, he still has my parents to hang out with. After a few minutes of scratching at my door and whining, he eventually stops and goes away.

I've actually tried giving her treats while on my shoulder. She seems too busy playing with my hair, than to take it.

I don't have much advise of the cockatiel sounds. It might get her really excited and she will try to call them by screaming.

Did you clip her nails yet?Make sure you just clip the tips to dull the nails. Anything more and she can bleed. You can you corn starch to stop it.

Not yet. My mom's pretty experienced with it. Our canary always needed his nails clipped, because if they grew too long, he would have trouble standing on his perch.

My mom does have septic powder that is used to stop bleeding. We get it out when we have to trim my dog's nails, too, because his grow pretty fast, and because his nails are black, it makes it impossible to see the vein.

There's no harm in playing cockatiel sounds for her if she enjoys it. You could even show her some youtube videos of them, although I'm not sure that cockatiels can recognize images on a screen.

It sounds like playing with your hair is its own reward for her, and she's actually preening you while she's doing it so she's treating you like a flockmate - you're having a bonding experience whether you know it or not! You could always skip the treats and see if she'll let you return the favor by giving her scritches while she's playing with your hair. You could also try tilting your head a little to get more head to head contact and see how she responds to that.

Right now I've got a couple of chicks who like to sit on my shoulder and nibble my ear. I do NOT enjoy it, but as long as they don't bite too hard I let them do it, because it's a social experience for them even if it's not so great for me. The other day one of them tried to give me a new piercing so I made him get off my shoulder lol.