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I am offended, madam!
I did not mean to imply that you were wooden-headed!
But dude, you've got a pileated woodpecker on your head! They're big suckers, about 18 inches long (45 cm), and I don't know what he's doing on your head if he didn't come there to drill. When I was helping with bird banders, they told me to be careful about taking woodpeckers out of the mist nets because sometimes they drill on your hand.