I come from a family that in many ways reminds me of yours... that makes me so mad at them! Hypercritical people. I learned very early as a kid that if I showed my feelings and my fears I'd be misunderstood or belittled. I was painfully shy because I felt constantly that I had to prove myself and that if I failed everyone would laugh at me.
It's such a hard environment to grow up and thrive, completely messes up the way you perceive the world. I feel your pain and wish there was an easy way for you to just jump out of it and leave it behind and never hurt you again.
Sadly we all have to do with what we got, and as you once said to me, when life gives you lemons you make lemonade... hopefully it will become sweeter and sweeter with time
